Thursday, February 28, 2013


Essay Prompt #1
Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.


Customs are a unique form of cultural inheritance done from many ages ago. In each country we continue with our customs and try to preserve them. However as globalization occurs now it’s a timeline where we all share our beneficial customs as the world is now connected as one. So because of this I would like to introduce the public bath custom in Korea. Many foreigners would think that this custom would be an absurd one as they are accustomed to bathing alone. However in Korea it’s a very common custom and I would obstinately recommend it to other countries. The reasons are mainly because of growth in intimacy and the obtainment of respect for the elderly.

           In other countries seeing each other naked is something to be ashamed of. But in Korea it is a way to increase each other’s intimacy. I would like to explain this on two levels. First, the growth in intimacy between families. Family is considered as the basic unit of education and society. So if interaction and cooperation between families goes well it’s more likely to result in better life styles and results. Public bath customs in Korea enables families to interact better. For instance, by going to the public bath we can speak freely of our troubles. This prevents problems before happening. This is a great solution for parents that lack the proper means of helping their children. Children feel much more comfortable if they think their parents are caring for them. Washing together is a way to accomplish that.

Second, I would like to view this issue on a social level. The reason why Korean people could unite so easily is because of the bathing custom. When going to the public bathroom people rub each other’s backs without even knowing them. They feel safe enough to leave their body unprotected and without trust this is impossible. By trusting each other by physical contact is the reason how Koreans have maintained a strong bond to each other. For example, look at the 2002 world-cup. Hundreds of people gathered around the city hall to cheer for a football game. Even economists think that the main reason Korea could rise so rapidly from poverty is because of the stiff intimacy we have. However other countries lack the strong bonding between people. So by adopting the public bath custom it helps on their possibility to unite on a social level.

Finally, people can obtain the respect for the elderly by going to the public bath. We often realize that western countries are not used to respecting their elderly. But while in a public bath we can learn respect. For example, in Korea young people give up their seats for the elderly to take the hot tub. We even rub their backs for them and help them bathe. If we enact upon these situations naturally foreigners would get the sense of respect that they lack because of culture. As a global society is coming nearer respect between people are being emphasized and this custom can help them getting used to respect.

           In conclusion, the bathing custom in Korea is how Koreans maintained social intimacy and respect for the elderly. The strong bonding is how we can develop and stay peaceful between countries. Public baths aren't the only cause of these advisable results but it certainly helped in accomplishing these factors. So I obdurately wish other countries adopted this particular custom, the public bath.
Posted by Unknown On 11:51 PM 8 comments

8 comments:

  1. Interesting topic, Hosunga :)
    Very unique to write about public bathing as a custom for other countries to adopt!
    Great to mention intimacy, unification, and respect for the elders.
    It's really hard to have strong arguments and a unique topic at the same time, but I think you've done it well in this essay.
    Keep up the great work :D

    + For the last sentence, I think it'll be better to change it into "Therefore, I obdurately wish other countries to adopt this particular custom, the public bath."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you 100%! The sentence I wrote sounds a bit awkward... I'll definitly improve on that... I'll recheck everytime if the wordings are awkward...

      Thank you for your comment ^O^

      Delete
  2. WOW! Interesting topic!
    I've never thought about the importance of the public bath this much before!
    Actually, the first two paragraphs were great. Public bath is good for advancing intimacy. However, the last paragraph, about respecting elderly, I think the statement that public bath helps respecting elderly by like helping them take bath is little bit illogical. If you make it stronger, I think it would look better to me.
    However, it was really interesting topic and fascinating!
    I really enjoyed your essay!
    Public bath, and korean custom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay~ Thank you ^^ I'll try to improve on that ^^
      The last paragraph will be supported with thorough details.
      Thank you for your comment~ ^^

      Delete
  3. Such a brilliant idea to write about bathing!
    I really liked your essay, because your claims are strong, the reasons are supportive, and I personally think that the sequence of each idea is organized well.
    I don’t really have things to criticize… but in my opinion, it would make the essay neat and more reasonable to modify the third body. Because I believe that western countries has their own ways of respect, and the third body only forces them to accept Korean ways of respect.
    It was pleasure to read your brilliant ideas!

    ReplyDelete
  4. agreed that this is an interesting and bold topic, and that the third example is somewhat lacking. . . but then I have been to saunas in many other countries besides Korea. However, I'm not sure it is just a question of feeling uncomfortable naked around people of the same gender (since in high school we often shower together after gym etc). Also, be aware that when you use the word intimacy, it evokes a different meaning then what you are intending in this essay

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think you really have a interesting topic
    and I mentioned it in class discussion in TOEFL workshop
    Still one question remains.
    There were public bath in other countries in the past.
    However, most of them now abandoned it and there should be a reason why.
    just one opinion ^^
    you have a great essay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay~ Thank you for your advice. Your suggesting that I should include why the Korean public bath is unique to others right?

      Delete

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    A Journey into the realms of writing!